Take Joy in Present Circumstances!

I think God is continually trying to teach me the art of contentment. Well, there are actually many things He's teaching me because there's so much I need to learn but it seems like most lessons are centered around contentment. For example, I wanted to be married right out of high school but it didn't happen until I was 25. That felt like a long time of "waiting". Now that I look back I can appreciate all that I experienced as a single gal. I got to live in San Luis Obispo for a year, occupy my own apartment for a year, experience dorm life, live in a small condo with 6 other girls (despite the close quarters those were fun times), go to a private Christian college (The Master's College) and live in Southern California (Valencia, to be exact). During that time I was struggling with fully appreciating it because I just wanted to be married with children. I love being married with a baby but it does have its struggles and I can see the beauty in that time of singleness. I can rejoice that I didn't get married at 19 and got to experience all that I did. And now I'm waiting for my husband to get through school. I'm trying to find contentment in this small, old house and make the best of it. Sometimes when I dwell on 4 more years of really struggling finacially while he goes through PA/Nursing school it really overwhelms me. So, I try not to think about it. Of course, I could always get a decent job with my college degree but then childcare would be raising my baby and that's the last thing I desire (I am actually starting a part time job soon but we have it worked out so that mostly Travis is with Sam)! So, it is a trade off. We struggle financially but our son gets to reap the benefit of having mommy at home. And now, we would LOVE to have a second child but it just hasn't happened yet. If I dwell on it those fearful thoughts begin, like "What if I can't have another child?!" or "When's it gonna happen??" or "What's wrong with me?!" I'm the person who has all my kid's names picked out (Samuel, Ethan, Emma Jean and Grace in case you were all wondering : ) ) and their age differences. I wanted to get pregnant a few months after Sam was born and it just hasn't happened. I have struggled with contentment and fear. But here is the funny thing about al this madness, I will probably look back on this one day and miss this old house, miss just having one baby and miss all these times that I am currently frustrated about! It really makes no sense because if this is the life God has willed for me to have then I should be content with it. I'll probably look back on these times with fondness! Sometimes, I just don't make sense because I know better but I dwell on fears and frustrations anyways! Satan is always looking for ways to steal my joy in the present! What I really need to do is adopt a heart of thankfulness.

The definition of Christian contentment according to Jeremiah Burroughs, author of "The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment":
' Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God's wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.'

'For I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content' -- Philippians 4:11
"I can do all things in him who strengthens me." -- Philippians 4:13