Trav's Scary Pumpkin

My very creative husband made this pumpkin earlier today. Apparently, he's throwing up. Oh, what a fun mess to clean up, eh? The picture at the top is of Sammy and his toys. He loves this little bird. He is just fascinated by him. Something that I just recently learned about my son is that sometimes he sleeps with his eyes partially open. It's kinda creepy actually. I don't know if there is some way to stop him from doing that or if it's just a Sammy trait. We were all supposed to carve our pumpkins today as a family (yes, even Sammy, he's old enough) but Travis was called into work, which means he usually has an hour and a half to get there. So, he just carved his real quick and left. Bummer. Hopefully he will be home for Halloween. If you are the praying type, please pray for my husband to get a new job. And one that will enable him to go to church most of the time. He's been applying like crazy for different hospital jobs but no real nibbles. As you may or may not know he's going back to school to become a nurse so getting a hospital job would be great. He has his paramedic license and hopefully he can get something. It would be nice to see him more and to be able to plan events. He's always a "maybe" for everything. For anyone trying to work for Union Pacific Railroad, halt!! Turn away! Run! Flee! Unless you want to sell your soul to them and don't care to see your family. Luckily, Travis wants to see his family and that is why he is trying to find a new job.

I felt like quite the domestic diva (hehe) today. I purchased Bridgford Ready-Dough from the freezer aisle at Winco for about $2.50 and with one of the dough rolls (each package comes with 3) I made homemade pizza. We happened to have tomato sauce on hand, Monterey Jack Cheese, canned pineapple and a green pepper. I also loooooooove this garlic seasoning stuff I bought from Costco awhile back. I put it on everything (salads, pasta, pizza, everything!). It's called Johnny's Garlic Spread and I highly recommend it!!! And you better believe my husband loves my garlic breath ; ). Anyways, I added some of the garlic seasoning and we thought the pizza turned out pretty good and now we have a cheaper way to eat pizza. The crust was great too!

My next baking attempt will be chocolate cake (Trav's favorite). I haven't made cake since I was an adolescent and it didn't turn out well (which is why I haven't tried since then). I've always wanted to make a cake but have been too intimidated. So, soon I will step out of my comfort zone and make my husband a very happy man! I was on Oprah's (love her show, love her webpage, she's great) webpage and found a recipe for a classic chocolate layer cake. We'll see what happens! And my mission after that is to actually use the breadmaker we recieved as a wedding gift. So much fun!

Does everyone know that Les Scwab (or however it's spelled) will rotate your tires for free!?? I wish I would have known that earlier -- like 10 years ago!

Dying to Self

(I saw this on a friend's blog and decided to steal it and post it on mine for others to see)

When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy , being counted worthy to suffer for Messiah,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality or any annoyance; when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility and endure it as Christ endured it,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When you do not care to refer to yourself in conversation or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart,
THAT IS DYING TO SELF.
Are you dead yet?
In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the Cross.
" That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death."
(Philippians 3 : 10)

Emily Crocker

Boo Boos will often fall asleep while playing with his toys, but will keep a grasp for awhile. He fights sleep a lot (when he's playing, when he's eating...). I always think it's so cute when he does this. It's amazing to me how much he looks like his daddy. Travis and I use to tease each other before he was born and say, "Well, I'm sure my genes are stronger." Clearly, his won out. Although, Travis thinks he has my eyes (the shape). He once told me that I have "kind" eyes (ohhhhhh swoon) and now he says I have "tired" eyes (or something like that -- nevertheless -- gee, thanks hon).

Last night I was supposed to go to a party for Trav's cousin's daughter's first birthday, but Sammy had his intestinal issues and a little fever. My mother-in-law was nice enough to get me some Pedalite and stuff so that I wouldn't have to take him out. She also brought by some dinner for me which was very nice (Trav was working). She brought over one of those cornish hens that are already cooked in the deli and I decided to make it into homemade chicken noodle soup. I grabbed my Betty Crocker Cookbook (which I received ages and ages ago but have rarely used) and used her recipe but altered it a bit with the ingredients we had available. I felt very proud and very domestic. I hope my husband actually eats it.Now I have a hen carcass in my fridge and would love to dispose of it, but trash pickup isn't for a week and you can imagine how delectable that would smell. He suggested we put it in a neighbor's trash can (wonderful idea honey). He always has wonderful ideas. Like when he taught our bird to say "Hell no, nigga" (this was before we met). And what makes it an even better is that he lives in a big cage outside, up against a fence, and the neighbors are in close proximity to the cage. Oh, and did I forget to mention that they are black. Yeah, we're gonna get shot. Well, my husband is never boring. I'm trying to teach the bird to say, "Hi Sammy!" I thought that would be cute. What little kid wouldn't just love that?

Pumpkin Patch Tradition

I wanted to start a tradition of taking Samuel and our future children to the pumpkin patch every year. I have been waiting for the day when I could experience all these family events and it is exciting to be in this period of our lives. We drove to Davis Ranch, which is about thirty minutes away from us and then realized, "Oh, I bet we need cash, huh?". Luckily my husband did have six bucks in his wallet and there happened to be approximately six bucks in the glove compartment. We picked out a big daddy pumpkin, a medium mommy pumpkin and a little Sammy pumpkin. And of course, mommy brought her camera for these memorable moments. Afterwards, we went to his parent's house for dinner and Sam started crying...and crying...and some more crying...kept on crying...he has never been like that before. He was absolutely inconsolable. I tried everything. Usually I can figure out what is wrong and console him. I think he could be teething, but I'm not sure? While there, Travis was called into work so we had to rush home for him to get his stuff and the other car. And while this is all going on, Sam is still sobbing. Finally, after a half hour I managed to rock him to sleep with is bottle and he woke up a couple times during the night but was his normal "I'm hungry" fuss. His temperature shot up to 100.2 and he's had a handful of diarrhea diapers (I'm sure you all wanted to know that). I talked to Kaiser a couple times and they told me to just monitor his temperature and body waste/fluids and to give him a little Tylenol and Pedialite. Hopefully this teething phase doesn't last too long. That numbing stuff doesn't seem to work and he doesn't want to chew on the cold toys. He just wants his hands! I think it is so cute when he's sucking his thumb (probably won't be so cute when he's 10).

I am getting so antsy for Christmas this year because I finally have my own home to decorate and my first "Ban Family Christmas." Seriously, the day after Thanksgiving I am going to get my husband to take the holiday decorations out of the attic and I making this place all festive. And then, I am going to experiment with different sugar cookie recipes (my husband will like that) until I discover one I really like and give them out to people (who will thank me for expanding their waistlines). I'm trying to think of different holiday family traditions, so if anyone has any ideas let me know!!

I loooooooove this time of year and getting amped for the holiday season!!

Look at what I can do!

Sammy can stand on his legs (with me holding onto his hands to balance him) for about 30 seconds, laughs out loud, is usually very easygoing when we are out in public (i.e. he doesn't start screaming/crying when we're in the store or out to eat), sleeps through the night (has been since 1 1/2 months but has been waking up a couple times a night now, wanting food), sleeps in his crib (he slept in his car seat for 3 1/2 months), can almost fully hold his bottle on his own, loves his Baby Einstein Playmat, doesn't like to be put on his stomach, gets frustrated when trying to crawl, has sucked his hands since before he was born, is starting to teethe, cries when his diaper is dirty, gets angry when the bottle is taken out of his mouth (so that he can burp), likes to eat and snooze, kicks his legs around when he's on his back, has rolled himself over but really does not care to at this point, and doesn't seem to know what to think about bath time (he looks like he is thinking, "Uhhhh...this is interesting...").

Supermom!

Just a little Anecdote, this use to be the main picture on my Myspace page and this somehow attracted Travis (yes, that's right, we met through Myspace). And just to clarify, that is my head pasted onto Wonder Woman's body (I know, you're all thinking, "WHAT???? REALLY???).

After I put Sam to bed I started cleaning up the house. While I wash his bottles I have nothing to do but...think. I thought back to when he was first born and I was up at all hours of the night cleaning and doing laundry. I think I only got 2-3 hours of sleep at night by my own choice. After 2-3 weeks of this, Travis finally said to me, "What are you doing?? Are you trying to be Supermom or something??!" I denied it to him and denied it to myself. In truth, looking back I can see that my desire was, and still is, to be the best mom. I mean, I had just given birth to a baby and I would not let myself rest because "the perfect mom" would have her house spic n' span and the laundry folded and put away. Don't get me wrong, I slacked after that and my house is still NO WHERE near pleasing to the eyes. The point is that as I was thinking about this time it made me think about all my expectations I have for myself, all my motherly dreams, and how my parenting has been so influenced by the way I was parented. If you know me well you know that I don't have a close relationship with my mother. And all my desires for how I wish I was mothered are now influencing how I am as a mother. I was always frustrated because the house was always cluttered and messy, so now I strive to get rid of the clutter (slowly but surely) in my own home. I want to make my family breakfast in the morning, talk to them a lot about God, reflect what it means to be a Christian in my own life, make their lunches, drive them to school, be a "room mother", be involved in school functions, go to their games, make them snacks after school, have a clean house for them to come home to, celebrate their accomplishments, get to know their friends, ask my kids how their day was, encourage them when they are down, go shopping together, take them to the park to play, read stories together at night, sit down for family dinners and invest in their lives (as well as in my husband's life, of course...him first and then the kids). As you can see from this list there is a potential for me to be too much. I do not want to be an overbearing parent. Parenting is such an overwhelming job and there is no guaruntee that if I follow "such and such" path that my kids will become adults who love God, live lives honoring to Him and will love their parents. I believe that the Bible is God's word, God's instruction manual to us and He does have a lot to say about how to raise a child. I cannot remember offhand (other than the well-known "spare the rod, spoil the child" verse) all that is said but I definitely want to begin researching the wisdom He has left for us in His word. It is overwhelming and challenging to think about. And what it boils down is I'm just going to have to rely on a whole lot pf praying because at the end of the day, it is really out of my hands. Furthermore, on my part I need to find a balancing act with trying to be the most effective mom without being too much or too little.

Good Riddance to My Baby Weight Please!!

This picture was just taken a little while ago.

I decided I should probably do something with our rotting bananas instead of just throwing them away, so last night after I put Sam to bed I made two loaves of banana bread. Definitely not low-fat so I'm trying to be a good girl and only have a little bit.

The Weight Watchers system has really been the only diet that has ever worked for me. I finally reached a slimmer me and then got pregnant. I gained about sixty pounds during this pregnancy (Eek!! Did I actually admit that in my blog?) and have only lost about 25 of it. Really, the 25 was all baby and stuff, but that other 35 was allllllll me (darn cravings for doughnuts and ice cream). I really didn't gain much weight during the first 6 months and then all of a sudden it all changed! BAM! Scale went up-up-and away...!

While I was buying groceries at the market today a magazine title caught my eye. It was "Thin By New Year!" and had Trista Sutter on the cover, holding her newborn son. It caught my eye especially because I am determined to lose 30lbs by the new year. It makes me frustrated that somehow, by some wierd set of standards, she is not thin. I guess she's frustrated because she's 116 and not 108. But then again, guess I can't judge because if it were physically possible for me to be 108lbs (and still be healthy) I would probably try get down to that weight as well. I'm just frustrated because my body has been stubbornly holding onto this fat. I wish we could just exercise and eat healthy for a week and drop 20lbs instead of just 2-3lbs. I'm glad God gives us new bodies when we get to heaven!

Ooooooo a Shiny Object!!

This picture was probably taken about a month ago (I know, kinda random of me). I just love this pic because he looks so chubby and cute.

Well of course I am going to make mention of how well scheduling tasks worked for me. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being ineffective and 10 being very effective) I would give it an 8. I got so much done today. I think the beauty of the schedule I made was not that I was looking at just a list of "Things to Do" or a list with tasks and times but a schedule that flowed according to my own speed and personality. I have a tendency to get distracted by "Oooooo a shiny object" and have a difficult time getting tasks accomplished. With this method of organizing tasks I actually stay on...task. It didn't go perfectly of course because I lost steam around 3 or 4pm and some moot tasks were overlooked. But I feel very accomplished and my bathrooms haven't been this spankin fresh for a long time! But enough about that...

Making a SCHEDULE

I love these pictures of Boo Boos and Daddy

Here's Boo Boos hanging out with mommy while I check my email!! Doesn't he look thrilled?

Wow, I'm actually posting within a 24hour period! This calls for a celebration!!

Anyways...

Today has been much better than yesterday. I was just kinda in a funk. The kind of funk induced by my sinfulness (read previous post for further details). Basically, an ungrateful heart. And sometimes knowing that someone cares enough to try and encourage me is really all I need for a little motivational change. My friend Dena's mom has been like a second mom to me for about seven years now and she always has so much wisdom it seems. I've always looked up to her as a wife and mom, so when she talks, I listen. Part of my problem is that I don't prioritize my time well (I know, kinda confusing? How does that tie into being ungrateful? Well, I'll tell you...I should make the best of what God has given me and work to my full potential. God has given us this house and I should take care of it and make it beautiful while we're here. The blessing of having stained, old carpeting??!! I don't really care if someone spills something on it --less stress you see). She gave me a lot of helpful advice and even had me make out a schedule for myself that I need to follow for tomorrow.

It will go something like this:

7am --Brighteyed and bushytailed ; ) -- coffee; breakfast; time in the Word (The Bible, folks)

Shower

Get ready

Travel Agent study time; make phone calls; check email (hopefully for not too long)

Make breakfast for Trav (if home)

Cleanup breakfast

First Cleaning Sweep (Going through the house in a counter-clockwise manner and picking up)

Exercise Video

One Hour of Cleaning (bathrooms, kitchen floor)

Make lunch for me and Trav

Cleanup lunch

Grocery Shopping

Put groceries away

Second Cleaning Sweep

Clean and organize office

Make dinner

Dinner with Trav

Cleanup Dinner

Wash baby bottles

Give Sam a bath

Put Sam to bed

Last Cleaning Sweep

Travel Agent Study Time; check email

Downtime

Bed

So, I will try my best to stick with this schedule. This of course includes hanging out with my Sammy, feeding and changing his diapers, but I didn't want to schedule every single detail of my day. Earlier today I also put away a lot of the clutter that was on and around the kitchen table, put my new tablecloth on and added some nice touches (wedding pictures, candles, placemats, etc.). Already I am feeling more positive about our living space. My main purpose for posting my schedule is so that I will feel a sense of accountability to actually follow it and not watch tv and not check myspace for the thousandth time.

Better be off to bed if I want to have energy to tackle my schedule!

Grumpy Mizzle and Boo Boos

Who is "Mizzle", you ask yourself. Well, "Mizzle" is me. That is the name Travis has called me since we first started dating. And "Boo Boos" is what we usually call Sammy. Mizzle and Boo Boos are used so often in fact that when Travis says "Emily" it feels very foreign to me. And saying Sammy to Boo Boos feels...odd. We'll probably have to stop calling him Boo Boos someday...maybe when he's like...18?19?35? We'll definitely pull the name out when his football friends are over (Travis has already decided Sam will be a football player).Embarrassing, for sure? But what fun is it to be a parent if you cannot embarrass your child?

So Boo Boos is grumpy because I think he is teething and his cold hasn't cleared up. I was surprised to find out that there is no magic cure for teething other than giving him a cold object to chew on, a little numbing ointment and rubbing his gums. I'm hoping this passes soon. Oh wait...I'm supposed to enjoy these moments, aren't I? They pass so quickly...and then you reminisce...

Sammy is giggling more and more. He talks and I'm sure soon enough my very remarkable child will be reciting Shakespeare (Maybe I'm expecting a little too much?? I'll settle for "mama" for now). : ) His favorite toy is that baby einstein playmat. He has a swing and another little bouncy seat (which he is sitting in right beside me), but they only keep his attention for a little bit.

My favorite moment with Boo Boos: Early in the morning he usually wakes up, demanding food (I know this because he is whining, crying, and chewing off his hands). I feed him his bottle and bring him into bed with us. He wiggles his arms and legs and doesn't seem to want to sleep but then he will grab a clump of my hair or rest his hand on my arm and in no time at all he is snoozing away. It is so precious to me. He is going to be four months old at the beginning of November! I am getting antsy to give him some solid food but will wait for the doctor to give me the go-ahead.

Now, why am I grumpy? Well...I think God has been showing me what an ungrateful heart I have. I really do have a blessed marriage and a healthy, happy baby boy, but I feel so frustrated inside and Satan must be delighting in my poo-poo attitude. I don't like the house we live in. I don't like the neighborhood. I don't like that we will be financially strapped for three years while Travis goes through school.I don't like that we won't be moving for at least 3 years. I don't like my cluttered house. I don't like my post-baby body...and so on and so forth. I know that I must be grateful but my sinful self stubbornly likes to do what is easy. Sin is very easy to get into but it is a dickens to get out of. Tomorrow is a brand new day and a day that I can either choose to glorify God or to make sin my dearest friend. There are two choices and no middle road. I want to be the best wife and mom that I can and having an ungrateful, ungodly attitude does not fall in line with being a God-honoring wife and mom.

Changes

I love this picture of Travis and Sammy. It looks like they are having "guy time."

Well, Samuel is 3 1/2 months now and is finding his voice more and more. I find that in the morning he seems to be the most active (which is interesting because he definitely didn't get that from his parents). I am a bit sluggish and not so bushy-tailed in the wee hours but as soon as I see his smiley face exclaiming, "Hi Mommy! I'm ready for food and to play!" it's like a shot of espresso. I just LOVE to hear his little laugh. I tried to put his high chair together the other day and spent literally an hour trying to get the back on before finally giving up. I tried again multiple times and just decided to let Travis give it a go. He walked up to the chair and slid the back on with no problem at all. You can imagine my embarrassment but it was quite amusing. He's not ready for the high chair yet but I know he will soon enough. I can't believe he's going to be eating solids soon. Of course I am very "by the book" parent so I will be following the doctor's orders (and all the info I've been getting from books and online). I've also decided to puree the baby food at home instead of buying the little jars of already canned baby food. My husband initiated the idea and I thought it was going to be too much work but I changed my mind. I was watching Oprah (Gotta love Oprah -- I DVR all of her shows) and Jessica Seinfeld was on with her book Deceptively Delicious. She has picky children (who doesn't?) and found ways to sneak in spinach, carrots, butternut squash and other healthy foods into her children's meals. So, little did they know when they were eating their chicken nuggets that the batter had pureed vegetables in it. I was really impressed and will definitely be purchasing this book.

We decided that his new conductor career is not going to work out. He is gone a lot, the money is not as good as we were told and he just does not enjoy it. Instead, he's going to continue pursuing a career in the medical field. He is a paramedic and we both believe that he should continue pursuing what he appears to be good at. He's definitely calm in emergency situations (I'm definitely not). Except, he is going to nursing school which will take about 3 years with prerequisites. We are currently trying to develop a game plan so that he can go through the program and we will also be able to pay the bills. His mom owns a home-based travel agent business and I am learning how to become a Travel Agent. This way, I can be at home but bring in income as well. I am hoping and praying that this works out.

And how I could I possibly forget to mention that he is experiencing his first cold! My poor baby! We all have colds but he has it the worst!